Being Average Often Goes Unnoticed

I'm just an ordinary person. To others, I'm just another face in the crowd, an NPC. To my parents, I'm a daughter. To my friends, a friend, and to my teachers, a student. There's nothing special about it. It might sound crazy, but being average is tough. Not in a "I want to be the best and most popular" way, but because being average often goes unnoticed. While many chase after the spotlight, it's important to recognize the value in being ordinary. I'm an ordinary girl, struggling like everyone else. I try to make a name for myself through singing, which helps me express my sadness. I know I blend in with the crowd, and there are many who sing better than I do, but finding a sense of belonging, even if it’s small, is enough for me. I'm not academically gifted, but I manage to get through each day. Like anyone else, I have my share of luck and challenges. Ordinary people can become special in their own way, and we all deal with trauma and burdens. Once, after a breakup, I fell in love with a seemingly ordinary boy who supported me throughout the summer. As we spent more time together in online classes, I realized he was more than ordinary, he was special. I pursued him despite his rejections, and eventually, he gave me a chance because he liked my persistence and thought I was special and unique too. I disappointed him by not fulfilling his dreams and expectations for me. He wanted things I didn't desire for myself, and in trying to please him, I sacrificed my own ambitions. When I moved to a new school and country, I discovered things I wanted to pursue, and suddenly, I couldn't ignore my own dreams anymore. This strained our relationship, especially as I dealt with family issues and adjusting to a new environment. But it wasn't just me. He changed too. He initially loved the real me, but then he became infatuated with an idealized version of me. Whether I inadvertently led him on or not, he started to love a version of me that I knew I couldn't become. His words hurt, and it became clear he didn't fully consider the impact of what he said. Being ordinary isn't a problem, but aiming for something beyond your reach can be painful. In my case, it's a typical story: I fell for him first, he followed later, but I grew tired. Just when I was ready to let go, he poured his heart out, hoping to salvage our future together. Sometimes, it's best to stay in your lane of ordinariness. There's a line that ordinary people shouldn't cross because they can't handle it, and they weren't meant to keep up with those who are less ordinary and more important or special. If he happens to stumble upon this, I want to convey a message that might sound typical, but it comes from an ordinary, hurting heart. "R", I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect girlfriend for you. I genuinely loved you then, and I still do now. I'll always cherish the memories of keeping up with your sweet updates. I wish you nothing but the best. It's better for me to keep these feelings to myself than to spread this sadness and pessimism. You'll always hold a special place in my heart as my first love, not because we lasted long or something, but because you truly made me feel loved.